Mehreen Jabbar is back with another venture, Dr. Bahu, starring Kubra Khan and Shuja Asad. It revolves around a family of doctors, oncologists, to be precise, who own two hospitals. The elder brother is a chip off the old block, but the younger one, married to Kubra, is allergic to hospitals and doctors. However, he is married off to a doctor, because that is what the father wants, who is a renowned oncologist and rules the house with an iron hand.
This play explores the dynamics of an extremely influential and highly educated family, which, on the surface, appears to be highly progressive and broad-minded. When Kubra gets married, she is assured of all possible support and assistance with her career aspirations. This play effectively captures the kind of adjustment problems that women face, even if they marry into influential and ostensibly educated and enlightened families.
Shuja, the younger son, owns a business showroom and often has altercations with his father over his choice of career. His elder brother is an oncologist like his father and works in his hospital. His wife is also a doctor (a gynaecologist to be precise), but works with her mother-in-law, as she is not allowed to pursue her career. Kubra finds an unexpected ally in her, and both form a strong bond as she helps her navigate the initial turbulence in her married life.
Kubra is extremely passionate about her profession and is keen on becoming a surgeon. When the proposal came, she was a tad bit reluctant, as she wanted to specialise and excel in her profession, but on her in-laws’ repeated assurances and her family’s keenness to see her settled, she acquiesced. The first face-off with her father-in-law comes on the morning after her marriage, when he gifts the newly married couple their honeymoon tickets and informs them that their flight is on Sunday. Kubra refuses outright and informs him that she has an exam on Sunday and therefore will not be able to go.
This disagreement promises to be the first of many, as according to her husband, his father has a God syndrome and suffers from a superiority complex. He is portrayed as an extremely domineering and narcissistic individual who even threatens to cancel his daughter-in-law’s license as a medical practitioner if she refuses to do his bidding. As the true colours of her father-in-law are revealed slowly, the mother-in-law offers little emotional support.
Women are expected to make most of the compromises when they marry, and this realisation in the initial days of her marriage comes as a rude shock to her. Her mother counsels her and, like every mother, asks her to make compromises as the onus of making a marriage work, according to her, lies with the woman. Kubra is extremely depressed and disheartened by this turn of events, but her husband is the silver lining, as he supports and encourages her. Gradually, the two develop a rapport, and he guides her at every step to make the transition period as smooth as possible for her.
Women are still expected to cook for their spouses and manage the kitchen, as according to Kubra’s mother-in-law, all men really want is a wife at home, irrespective of her professional achievements. Thus, she is entrusted with domestic responsibilities and expected to cook and look after her husband’s needs.
This extremely patriarchal and regressive mindset, where women are treated as second-class citizens and expected to shoulder all kinds of domestic responsibilities in their marital home, irrespective of how educated and accomplished they are, is a surefire way of controlling and subjugating them. The mother-in-law has been a victim, and instead of breaking the cycle, she actually perpetuates it through her words and actions. It is a way of putting her daughter-in-law in her place, by downplaying her professional achievements and making her realise that all men really want is a wife and that true marital bliss lies in serving your spouse and in-laws, or as her sister-in-law frames it bluntly, making the perfect gol roti.
It is refreshing to see two sisters-in-law supporting and empowering each other, rather than playing a game of one-upmanship. This play portrays the beauty of this relationship and how women can become each other’s greatest strength and support, if they choose to. Both actresses portray their roles beautifully, and the rapport they share on screen is refreshing to see.
A very realistic portrayal of how ostensibly, even enlightened, educated, and progressive families can still be very regressive in their outlook. Although they want educated and ambitious women as daughters-in-law, they don’t think twice about cutting them down to size and showing them that their true place still belongs in the kitchen. Mothers-in-law should make an attempt to break free of this vicious cycle, rather than perpetuating it through their words and actions.
Keep watching to see how the play unfolds and how Kubra navigates the ups and downs of her marital journey. This play effectively highlights how even ambitious and educated female professionals are controlled, brainwashed, and dominated by their in-laws. Every possible effort is made to destroy their self-esteem and undermine their confidence in an attempt to subjugate them. The stronger ones survive, while the weaker, in the interest of maintaining domestic harmony, toe the line and make all the sacrifices and compromises required, so as not to rock the marital boat. Social pressures and the age-old belief that a truly successful woman is one who is a good and dutiful wife, mother, and daughter-in-law compel women into submission and compliance, and thus, the vicious cycle never breaks.
The writer is an educationist and can be reached at gaiteeara@hotmail.com.